Caregiver stress is real and comes to us in different ways.
Signs include being anxious and sad; feeling tired and low all the time; getting too much or not enough sleep; weight loss or gain; becoming easily upset or frustrated; or experiencing headaches, aches, and pains.
When we experience these feelings and symptoms regularly we are not at our best.
Our mental health, which is being compromised prevents us from coping with the stresses of everyday life.
We become less able to work productively and fruitfully and build good relationships to contribute to our community and social circle.
We may feel there’s no light at the end of a long dark tunnel.
The mental health continuum
Everyone experiences mental stress somewhere on this continuum at some point in life.
The sliding scale ranges from healthy to reacting to injured
| Healthy end | Our mental health is healthy which allows us to deal with everyday stresses. |
| Reacting stage | We may experience temporary and reversible mental ill health. For example, during a short-term illness or incident involving a family member, or a bereavement. |
| Injured stage | A single event or series of events impacting us negatively brings on anxiety, depression or withdrawal from society making it hard for us to lead a normal life. This can be triggered by long-term health conditions like painful arthritis or a disability, resulting in reduced mobility and feelings of isolation. |
At various points in life, caregivers will move up and down this continuum experiencing the good and the bad.
Recognising where we are on the continuum
At the healthy stage, life feels normal and we plough on with everyday life taking on personal, work, and caring duties with no issues.
While events are happening at the reacting stage, we experience mental ill health where our mood, thinking and behaviour are altered temporarily.
In this short period, we’re not quite ourselves, and find it hard to cope with normal stresses of life, work purposefully and fruitfully, and contribute to our social circle.
However, it is short lived and once the temporary factors are resolved and time has passed, we regain our mental health.
At the injured stage, long-term health conditions like diabetes, a disability, or arthritis, which are painful and come with other health complications, restrict mobility and create feelings of isolation and exclusion.
This can impact mental health because the problems are happening over time and, unlike temporary conditions, don’t reverse easily.
Over an extended period, long-term health conditions significantly impact mood, thinking and behaviour. Unfortunately, this leads to difficulties in living a normal life and coping with everyday challenges.
Combat (caregiver) stress, anxiety, exhaustion to regain mental strength
According to medical professionals and health statistics, physical and mental health are intrinsically linked.
People who feel well physically cope better with mental strains and stresses of everyday life.
On this basis, we must first and foremost look after our physical health in order to care for and improve our mental health.
Physical activity and being outdoors
By including some form of physical activity or time outdoors, in our lifestyle and daily routine, we increase serotonin in our bodies.
This is scientifically proven to make a difference to our health and improve our mental well-being.
This can be a brisk walk to the postbox, a stroll in the garden during a tea or coffee break, a walk to the local shops or a round of golf in good weather.
For long-term health conditions like chronic asthma, migraines or a physical disability, manage these through a personal plan together with your health professional. This will improve both physical and mental health.
A healthy lifestyle
Reducing alcohol intake, smoking and/or drug taking has proved to lift mood. People who do this say that their physical and mental health is looked after, for longer, and they feel better in the long-run.
When we drink, smoke or take drugs while we’re not feeling our best, we feel sadder and more irritable.
This, unfortunately, leads to depression in the long-term.
Stats also show that 30% of people with long-term physical health conditions have mental health problems – usually anxiety and depression – so drinking, smoking and/or drug taking can make things worse.
Nutrition
Boosting our nutrition intake at every opportunity, especially when we’re not at our best, we’ll feel lighter, happier and less irritable. Over time, we’ll feel less depressed, anxious, and stressed.
A meal with a bit of everything and good hydration helps to balance our intake of protein, vitamins and minerals for the body and the mind.
For more on this, check out blog 8. Summer health tips & superfoods to boost energy.
For Long-term health conditions like diabetes, manage this with your health professional by creating a personalised plan. Getting the right nourishment will improve both physical and mental health.
Keeping topped up on water is important too because dehydration affects our short-term memory and may trigger migraines or headaches.
When we drink water, oxygenation increases in the brain, calming the mind and helping us reach a deeper sleep.
As a result, water helps us combat stress, anxiety, and exhaustion to regain mental strength.
There are many easy ways to ensure we’re drinking enough water every day, especially during summer when delicious water-based fruits are aplenty.
Let’s feed our bodies, mind, and soul!
Rest & sleep
Getting good rest and a decent nights’ sleep whenever possible will repair the body, boost memory, combat irritability, anxiety and depression.
Over time, this improves our overall mood, thinking and behaviour, allowing us to cope better with normal life stresses. It puts us in a better mental space to work and learn productively, and reconnect with our social circle to make the most of good friendships and relationships.
To help us get good rest and a decent nights’ sleep, undertake physical activity and be outdoors during the day. This increases our levels of serotonin, naturally stimulating happiness, and our intake of vitamin D.
There are helpful tips and videos on this NHS page helping us to fall asleep faster and sleep better.
Little rituals can also help us switch off, sleep better and recharge.
Products like 100% pure essential aromatherapy oils with blends of Jasmine, Sandalwood and Lavender are loved by many because they work. This Moodfix Mist from Tisserand is a popular aid sleep.
Good relationships
Choose people who are good for your mental health. People who you feel comfortable being with, people who make you laugh and smile, and people who listen to and support you without judgement.
Being in a negative (personal, work or learning) environment, with no positive relationships, can harm our mental health. Over time, it’ll make things worse for our well-being.
Positive relationships are important because they make us happier. They support us and make us more resilient to face problems as well as cope better with difficult situations.
Communities and support networks are great too. A quick search will tell you which one(s) are best for you.
While supporting Dad through chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and end-of-life care, I used Macmillan’s Carers only forum.
When Mum suffered strokes, I used Stroke Association’s caring for a stroke survivor.
And when I was pregnant with low PAPP-A and gestational diabetes, I used NHS.
Getting stronger mentally
Caregiver stress is real and we experience different symptoms along the caregiving journey.
Personally, I’ve experienced it all. I’ve been anxious and sad, felt tired and low, and neglected my sleep. I’ve lost weight, become easily upset and frustrated, and suffered chest infections and a severe asthma attack.
When I was like this, I was not in a good place.
My mental ill health, compromised by my poor physical and emotional well-being, stopped me coping with normal stresses of everyday life.
I couldn’t work productively or fruitfully and distanced myself from friends.
Hope and recovery
I did, however, see light at the end of the tunnel.
It happened as soon as I made lifestyle changes following my mini breakdowns. Most things outlined above, I did. Although not all at once, I did introduce them into my daily routine.
When you’re not at your best, it’s difficult to see why you should be doing all these things (mentioned above), especially when you’re low, exhausted, and demotivated.
However, doing just what you can and trying some, if not all, of these things, will bring about some benefits.
Then, as you begin to do more, you’ll notice more differences until you feel mentally stronger again.
When things get really tough, I like to remind myself to keep going with this inspirational quote:
If you’re going through hell, keep going. Why would you stop in hell?
Steve harvey, ourmindfullife.com
The importance of self-love and self-care
Lastly, don’t be hard on yourself. You are brilliant and we all have down days. It’s just our mind and body telling us to take that well-earned break. Just a little bit of self-love and self-care goes a long way.
As the saying goes, we cannot pour from an empty cup! Also, don’t feel you can’t ask for help and support.
As a Sandwich Generation carer, I found this community near me, which I hope is a provision that’s available to fellow Sandwich Generation Carers across the country and globally (or similar services).
With some self-love, self-care and the right people and support around us, I’ve learned that tunnels are not infinite and there is always light towards the end x
