Does self-care improve mental health? Based on experience, I’d flip the question around – ‘What happens to our mental health when we don’t self-care?’ – and I’ve got my answer.
Rewind to 2015-2019, when I worked full-time and cared for Dad, who was battling cancer, and Mum, who’d survived two strokes and was disabled. I neglected my basic needs, often skipping meals, and slept only a few hours a night. Self-care did not exist for me – as a result, my health suffered and deteriorated over time.
Mentally exhausted and so anxious, I worried constantly. I over-thought everything and got distracted easily. I was either ‘on’ or ‘on stand-by’ – there was no ‘off’ button! Emotionally overwhelmed, I felt down and sad all the time. I was impatient and short-tempered too – mainly offloading onto my husband (thank goodness I have him – I’ll never be able to express what it means having him by my side, walking my journey). Physically unfit and unhealthy, I lacked energy but operated a hundred miles per hour. I had no choice juggling a full-time job, caring responsibilities for Dad and Mum, and a personal life.
So my simple answer is yes, self-care does improve mental health because when we don’t look after ourselves, all aspects of our health suffer: mental, physical, and emotional. As caregivers, it is vital we first look after ourselves and ensure we have good mental health.
To read my journey over the course of these four years, including how the deterioration of my mental, physical, and emotional health led to life-changing meltdowns and illnesses, see blogs #2 and #3.
How mental ill health affects us?
Mental ill health affects us in so many different ways. Medically speaking, when we experience mental ill health, we suffer some, if not all, the following disorders. I definitely recognise the first two!
Stress
- This can be a good thing, motivating us to tackle challenges in life.
- Issues can, however, arise if our ability to cope with stress or handle a problem is compromised.
- Temporary stress is not serious. But continuous stress can affect emotions, behaviour, our ability to think and our physical well-being, like increased blood pressure, heart rate, muscle tension and/or insomnia.
Anxiety
- This is a response to stress that could carry on after factors causing stress have been resolved.
- Can be short term e.g. before and during a job interview or a work presentation.
- It becomes problematic when a situation becomes long-term, overwhelming, and interferes with everyday life.
- There can be physical symptoms and worrying thoughts, for example, panic attacks, faster heartbeat, dizziness, nausea and/or difficulty breathing.
Self-harm
- This can be physical and/or behavioural
- Examples include physical cutting, burning, picking skin, and behaviours like excessive drinking and/or smoking, fast driving, having unprotected sex, gambling, and/or causing fights
- These actionsrelieve distressing feelings and help us cope with difficulties in life.
Suicide
- A combination of factors results in this and can include things like poor living conditions, trauma and/or substance abuse
- Research shows that if suicide is prevented from happening, people can move away from suicidal thoughts and recover through support.
Eating disorder
- Anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating are a type of obsessive behaviour related to eating and the consumption of food and drink
- Although illnesses like anorexia are often blamed on a desire to weigh less, they could be the response to traumatic events, stress, and unhappiness
- Anxiety and low self-esteem can also lead to eating disorders and are usually a way for people suffering from the illness to control their lives and manage the stress they’re experiencing.
How focusing on ‘me’ and self-care can improve mental health?
A person-centred approach
Healthcare professionals and society now take a person-centered approach to health and well-being. A person-centered approach focuses on the needs of an individual rather than the services offered to someone experiencing poor mental health.
This important approach concentrates on what we need as a person and in our lives, not just the needs arising from mental ill health. By taking a person-centered approach and starting with our individual needs, we stand a better chance of getting the right kind of support and services we need to make us better.
In theory, this approach is effective because we’re at the centre of creating our own support plan. The chances of us following through with it and achieving more success with it are, therefore, greater.
My person-centred plans
I can vouch for this. When I encountered my meltdowns or ‘breaking points’ in my caregiving journey, I looked at what I needed, as a person and in my life, that very moment. The plans I created following my meltdowns worked well because I was at the centre of them and making important decisions. I followed through with my plans and got the right support I needed to get better.
You can read about my journey and experiences in detail in blogs #2 and #3, but here are some of the things I needed and followed through in my plans:
- deactivating digital and social media apps on my phone;
- embracing JOMO (‘joys of missing out’)
- adjusting work arrangements;
- getting extremely well organised by having good plans and schedules in place!
Strategies to improve mental well-being
This section follows my story and the strategies that work for me. While some, if not all, of the suggestions, may resonate with some of you and work well in many instances, the following is not fully comprehensive. Mental ill health is broad and affects people in varying ways (see blog #9 about the mental health continuum). Some readers might find speaking to a loved one, a medical professional, or a mental health first aid colleague more effective. My suggestions:
- confide in and talk to someone you trust – communication and being heard is key;
- talk to a trusted mental health first aider at work;
- try deactivating digital and social media apps from your phone;
- embrace JOMO (joys of missing out);
- explore with your trusted mental health first aider if work adjustments are possible;
- at work, it may help to join support networks. It certainly worked for me when I joined the Carers & Parents Network on returning to work after my Dad’s passing.
- try getting organised by creating plans and schedules for your daily routine and responsibilities;
- give yourself some ‘me time’. Just 1 hour a day (in 24 hours) is not a lot to give back to yourself!
- use that 1 hour to do something you love, or nothing at all!
- if you do want to do something, it could be as simple as having one of your favourite meals or getting lost in your favourite hobby. When it comes to food, it’s essentially any kind of pasta for me. A childhood favourite was soupy pasta – a tomato-based broth with lots of veggies and one type of meat thrown in (usually chicken). In terms of hobbies, I love reading, painting my nails, and – something I’ve not done for AGES – art! I love any form of painting, pencil, and charcoal work so may look for an Art for Wellbeing class to join in the near future.
- get clued up on coping mechanisms for dealing with anxiety and stress. Every time you begin to feel stressed or anxious, try it out. For me, simple things like looking out a window and staring up to the sky or a tree, noticing the leaves and birds, while taking in a few deep breaths worked wonders.
- before you do any of this, write down the ideas you want to try and use this list to create a personal wellness action plan. Essentially, answering the questions ‘What will I do’, ‘How will I do it’, and ‘When will I do it’.
A wellness action plan that prioritises ourselves
A wellness action plan that puts us at the heart is important. It starts a conversation about mental health, whether we have a mental health problem or not. At work, it should be a confidential document that’s agreed between us and our manager. Every employee should have one whether they’re experiencing a mental health problem or not. It helpfully sets out our expectations in relation to mental well-being at our workplace.
It’s important that we take a proactive approach to managing our mental health rather than a reactive one. This way, we can anticipate future issues and put safeguards in place to prevent or reduce the risk(s), rather than dealing with the impact of a mental health issue once it arises.
A proactive approach can ensure that we take preventative measures, such as the coping mechanisms mentioned above. When thinking about and creating a wellness action plan, consider the following:
Approaches that we can use to support our own mental well-being
E.g. taking regular ‘breathers’ from everyday life. Just a 5 minutes tea break in the garden or daydreaming out the window can make a huge difference. Or perhaps it’s joining a staff network and work support group or taking a stroll to grab a coffee or a quick wander around the shops. Another thing I love doing is planning my holidays and days off at the start of the year, ensuring I get regular breaks. If I’m not going away, I’m having a short staycation, seeing friends, or getting a treat at the hairdressers. On the odd day-off I’ll relish my own company and do nothing.
Signs and symptoms of stress or mental ill health
Things to look out for that would alert us that there may be an issue. This could be feelings of anxiety, changes in mood and behaviour, sickness absence at work, absentmindedness, or withdrawal / isolating ourselves from friends and family.
Identification of triggers that could lead to stress of mental ill health
E.g. lack of support for our caregiving duties, loss of control over our responsibilities, feeling overwhelmed and not good enough for any task, or experiencing continued overbearing line management at work (like micromanagement).
Impacts of stress or mental ill health on how we deal with everyday life
E.g. chronic tiredness leading to being impatient, snappy, or confrontational. We may be overwhelmed and teary all the time. At work, we may be unable to concentrate and manage workloads effectively. We may make simple mistakes or miss deadlines,
Actions that we can take
If we notice signs of stress or mental ill health building up, we can adopt some, or all, of the strategies listed above to improve mental well-being.
A review date for the plan
This is important to make sure our plan is always front of mind and adjusted where and when needed. After all, there’s no point in having a plan if we’re not going to try using it and keep it updated and tailored to our changing circumstances. You can decide how often, but having a fresh plan every three months is useful.
Any other actions that could be good for improving mental well-being
For example, volunteering with greening & cleaning projects, youth work, food banks/soup kitchens, animal sanctuaries, etc. Or doing more of what ‘feeds your soul’ – mentally, physically, and emotionally. For me, this is hot/yoga and pilates. I don’t do it as often as I’d like but have been practicing it since 2006 and find it both soothing and energising. And during harder times, it is also very restorative – like when I had sciatica or in the 1-2 years after having my Son.
I hope this blog shows how self-care can improve our mental health and well-being. Let me know how you get on mentally, physically, and emotionally. I’d love to hear from you and exchange stories.
As caregivers, we must look after ourselves first and ensure we have good mental health, physical resilience, and emotional wellness before we look after others and provide our loved ones with the best care.
