Since becoming a Mum 3-years ago, Mother’s Day has taken on a whole new meaning.
Before having my Son, Mother’s Day was reserved for celebrating my Mum, mother-in-law, my sister, and my Mum friends.
I used to shower my nearest and dearest with love, appreciation, gestures, and kind words – all the things society expects and what I believed was appropriate for Mother’s Day.
Mixed Emotions
Now, I feel somewhat different – a mixed bag of emotions, if I’m honest – some good, some bad, and some ugly.
All because on Sunday, 10 March 2024, it will be my fourth year experiencing Mother’s Day as Mum – and I am conflicted on whether or not I like or am looking forward to it.
It’s not because I don’t think I should be celebrated. As a loving Mum and wife, I believe I should be celebrated every single day!
It’s because, on a deeper level, the special day conjures thoughts and feelings that make me sad.
The Bad (or in my case, the Sad)
I am sad that my Son is growing up so quickly and is already 3! Why does time fly when you become a parent?!
I am sad that my husband and I will have to start thinking about primary schools in September – and before we know it, he’ll be flying the nest!
I am sad that my Mum is not getting any younger and doesn’t get to see her Grandson regularly to share moments and make memories. Although I have promised to make the 4-hour drive up North more this year, it’s not the same as having her around the corner or a short drive away.
On a less personal note, Mother’s Day is also triggering as I feel (yes, I am a Pisces and feel EVERYTHING, more so now I am a parent) for families and children caught up in conflict and war, for people with strained or non-existent relationships, for those who have lost a child or parent, for those caring for an ill child or parent, for single fathers, for those with two fathers or non-binary parents, and for those who can’t or choose not to have children.
The Good
I remind myself daily how lucky I am to have a healthy child (bar his food allergies and eczema, which are not problems at all considering what’s happening in other parts of the world) – and that I can cuddle my boy every day and every night before bedtime.
I remind myself we’re lucky to have a National Health System, a small but loving and tight-knit family, a roof over our heads, and a warm bed to sleep in.
So, while I appreciate a cute handmade card, beautiful flowers, or a pamper/spa day gift voucher on Mother’s Day, I now prioritise living in the moment and staying healthy and happy throughout the year.
This involves appreciating the here and now – and good communication and teamwork with my husband. We team up to ensure we both get regular ‘me time,’ precious family time together, and that every day is Mother’s, Father’s, and Child’s Day!
I’m motivated to ensure we are healthy, physically, and feeling well, emotionally and mentally, throughout the year so we can spend as much time together as a family for as long as possible.
The Ugly
Now I view and ‘feel’ Mother’s Day so differently, it’s clear I was pandering to society’s ideals and consumerism.
I guess this is the ugly part.
As someone who hates keeping up appearances, this is exactly what I got caught up in.
Showering my nearest and dearest with loving gestures, kind words, and gifts – just for having the physical label ‘Mum’ without understanding the raw emotions, thoughts, and feelings of actually being a Mum.
It was a way to conform, do what was expected of me, and compete once a year in our consumeristic and materialistic world.
Making it ‘My’ Mother’s Day
The ‘good’ on the other hand, when you are Mum, is appreciating the true meaning of Mother’s Day – not according to society’s ideal or anyone else’s, but your own.
Since becoming a parent, I feel I’ve grown superpowers to nurture and protect, and everything and everyone else is secondary.
I don’t worry about what people think and believe that by going with the gut, keeping friends and family close, and doing right for me, my child, and my family, I am on the right path – for me.
This Mother’s Day, I will spend it with my family, having fun – most likely somewhere under cover, given the weather forecast – making our own sunshine.
