Dad fought cancer fearlessly for 5-years and lost his battle in May 2020. In his last 6 months, I got through the worst time in my life by using a daily routine I’d created in a caregiver’s schedule.
This schedule made life easier in two ways. Firstly, it helped me recover from mental exhaustion, an emotional breakdown, and a hospital stay for chronic asthma and an acute chest infection, to look after Dad and Mum. Secondly, it gave my parents 100% of me and the best care I could possibly provided and coordinate.
I tailored the schedule to our family’s needs and to give us focus, structure, and a daily routine to follow.
Although it pains me to look at it now, I see how the easy-to-use format provides order and makes things easier for caregivers living the hardest moments in life.
Whether or not you’ve just started caregiving, simply adapt my approach to suit your needs and those of loved ones.
1. Use a Google Sheet
I highly recommend using Google Sheets for your caregiver’s schedule and daily routine.
Google Sheets is easy to use, and I love that it saves online. Because of this, you can share the link with anyone who needs it. This is helpful because you are making life as a caregiver easier by sharing the load – physically, mentally, and emotionally – for your loved one and yourself.
If you prefer, give family members full access and editing rights so they can input and make changes, while others have viewer rights only (for example, the palliative care team).
A Google Sheet schedule is convenient because you can refer to it and update it whenever and wherever you need it. I accessed and made updates everywhere, from hospitals to supermarkets and at all times of the day.
2. Record everything in one spreadsheet
This keeps everything in one place – every reminder, appointment, responsibility, and priority action along with vital information such as medication and VIP contacts – at the tip of your fingers.
Although I recommend using one spreadsheet only, I wouldn’t try to put everything onto a single page!
Definitely use multiple tabs and organise them into categories…
3. Categorise different tabs
In your spreadsheet, use multiple tabs for different things:
- Tab 1 for VIP contacts – list names, telephone numbers, email addresses, and postal addresses of key organisations. Hospital departments, hospice teams, day and overnight carers, GP surgeries, and the dentist. Due to Dad’s illness, I also had British Red Cross (wheelchair), stoma products provider, Mediquip (electric mobility bed and recliner chair), and the local authority (adult social services).
- Tab 2 for a full medications list – include dosage and time of day (and day of week if relevant) when each should be taken (breakfast, lunch, dinner, bedtime).
- Tab 3 for a detailed carers schedule and daily routine – I found using one tab for a single week most helpful. This way, you can show as much detail as possible to keep things organised and as clear as possible. Break your weekly schedule down day-by-day, hour-by-hour, carer-by-carer. I ran mine Monday through to Sunday. Although my example is based on real activities, I’ve changed and altered much of the details for illustrative purposed only.
4. Use it frequently
There is no rule to this. However, I encourage regular use of the schedule.
Personally, the more I used and updated it, the more organised I felt and the more good care I gave to Dad and Mum during a dark and painful time.
Typically, I’d use it 4 times a day. Usually, in the morning, at lunch, in the late afternoon, and in the evening before leaving my sister’s, where Mum and Dad lived, to go home.
Using the schedule frequently also grounded me – physically, mentally, and emotionally. It made an emotional and triggering experience more clinical and manageable day-to-day.
Without it keeping things on track, life would have been more difficult than it already was.
5. Schedule regular one-on-one time with your loved one
Spend precious quality time with the person you care for and create lasting memories.
Doing something you both enjoy or reminiscing about funny experiences you’ve shared nourishes mental and emotional well-being.
My sister and Dad loved to play games of Chinese chess, challenging each other and laughing together.
As for Dad and I, we routinely ate out after chemotherapy and radiotherapy as I asked about his youth and listened to his stories. We listened to Cantonese classics as we drove to and from appointments and spent quieter days sitting together, sometimes looking through old photographs.
Frequent moments like these in a caregiving schedule to offset unforgiving times are worth every second.
6. Remember to include you on your ‘to do’ list
Self-care is important and we cannot give the best of ourselves to help loved ones if we’re broken.
As a caregiver, “an empty lantern provides no light. Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly”. I learned the hard way by neglecting self-care at the start of my caregiving journey.
As a result of skipping meals regularly, sleeping only a few hours a night, and running hard on empty for 5-years, my health suffered and deteriorated. I suffered two mental breakdowns through exhaustion and an episode of acute respiratory illness stemming from chronic asthma that hospitalised me for a week.
Here’s how my transformative health and well-being started, and – based on my story and experience – how we can to prioritise self-care to avoid mental and physical breakdowns:
- How to look after ourselves as Caregivers
- Why it’s important for Carers to self-care and 5 benefits
- How to practice mindfulness and eat well for mental health
- How to breathe well and improve asthma
- Best holidays to re-energise the mind, body, and soul
- How to combat (caregiver) stress, anxiety, exhaustion, and get strong mentally
- Why a plant based diet is great for the body and allergy sufferers
- How to plan for Autumn/Winter wellness
- How to look after mental health: strategies and action plans
- What things make eczema, asthma, and body inflammation worse
To make life easier, I like this checklist from Age UK, too.
It offers information on thinking about our own well-being, money, work, and the person we care for.
By creating a daily routine and caregiver’s schedule using all the available information from our community and networks, life can become a little easier for us and our loved ones.
