In early 2024, I promised to spend more time with my family and create more moments and memories than in previous years.
I promised not to let 2025 come around, which it will do quickly, without having actioned these good intentions.
Planning well for the year
So, I got planning. I drew up 2024 in a full calendar and marked up regular visits to Dad’s grave and Leeds to spend as much time as possible with my sister, nephews, niece, and Mum.
I did this for three reasons.
One, because visiting Dad’s grave and Mum and my sister’s family twice a year was inadequate and neglectful.
Two, because now a Mum, I appreciate being with and around family much more.
Thirdly and selfishly, I desperately need half terms and summer holidays to be lively, fun, and as far away as possible from the mundane and monotonous daily occurrence of my child’s routine. I know you feel me!
Planning well for May half-term
So, for the May half-term, I planned a week’s stay in Leeds, leaving hubby and his work commitments in Surrey.
I do this to spend quality time with Mum and relieve my sister of her (sandwich) caregiving duties while she and my brother-in-law enjoy a well-deserved holiday with my nephews and niece.
While in Leeds, Mum, my Son and I follow a well-thought-out and well-planned daily routine.
As a Sandwich Carer, this allows us to have fun and get through half-term enjoyably.
Planning well for our daily routine
Broadly, our days are broken into eight segments and look something like this:
Morning
- 1. Prepare and enjoy a family breakfast
- 2. Engage in a family activity like indoor games, fun in the garden, a bike ride around the park (for my Son) with Mum in her wheelchair and me in tow, lounging and chatting, or a trip in the car listening and singing along to music as we make our way to the local supermarket. Today while the sun was shining, we enjoyed a stroll around The Hollies.
Afternoon
- 3. Prepare and enjoy a family lunch
- 4. Engage in a family activity like exercising gently together. With Mum being a disabled stroke survivor, this usually involves walking around the house, including up and down the stairs and in the garden, while my Son rides his balance bike. We also enjoy listening to Chinese music, mostly 80s and 90s Canto-pop, and exploring Cantonese cuisine and recipes for me to cook (more on this later for those interested).
Late afternoon / early evening
- 5. With Mum’s guidance and support, I prepare a delicious Cantonese family dinner that is to Mum’s taste for us to enjoy (in future blogs I will share Mum’s recipes).
Evening
- 6. Son’s bath time and bedtime routine
- 7. Enjoy some well-deserved grown-up Mum and me time
Late evening
- 8. Indulge in me-time, self-care, relaxation (or work) before bed. One exciting thing helping me through this May half-term is an online research project I’m undertaking to plan and book for me, my husband, and our Son our first all-inclusive summer break in the sun! Far from my husband and my favourite holiday, road-tripping California, but as Mum and Dad to a 3-year-old – how life and priorities change!! 🙂
Planning well for the rest of the year
To get through the summer holiday and other half-term breaks as a Sandwich Carer, I will continue to plan well. On tough days when feeling down and low, I will practice what I preach through mindfulness and various other coping mechanisms. I will also draw strength and resilience from my favourite affirmations.
Most importantly, I will continue to pepper the remainder of 2024 and early 2025 with a fun and busy schedule with my family and close friends.
