My transformative health and well-being journey started when my sisters and I, born in UK to Cantonese speaking parents, became their carers. This happened when Dad got a 5-years cancer prognosis.
To begin with, our family was strong and pulled together to care for and support one another. We worked well caring for Dad, a cancer-patient, and Mum, a stroke-survivor living with a disability and type 2 diabetes.
After getting the all-clear from his operation in 2016, we joyfully enjoyed family holidays. My sisters and I continued to care for our parents in an organised and systematic way.
The cancer came back some years later, unfortunately, and Dad needed chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and heavy medication.
Looking back, Dad deteriorated quickly, as did my health and well-being (blog #2). It never occurred to me what the effects of being a carer for family members would be.
At the time, we just lived life purposefully, hopefully and to its fullest.
We ate at Dad’s favourite restaurants and listened to old favourite classics driving to beautiful destinations.
We enjoyed nature and wildlife at every opportunity and planned a trip back to Dad’s homeland in China.
This, unfortunately, never happened.
Challenges of being a carer & a carer’s breakdown symptoms: The Physical, mental & emotional
All this time, I worked full-time while caring for Dad and Mum. This roller coaster ride got too much for me physically. Mentally and emotionally, the strain was becoming unmanageable.
While undergoing chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and palliative care in Dad’s final year, my health deteriorated drastically. In late 2019, I was rushed to hospital with an asthma attack and a severe chest infection. I stayed in the acute respiratory unit for a week.
This was traumatic because Dad was hospitalised, at the same time, with a treatment related infection.
Despite my efforts to stay on top of the life I’d been dealt, things got terrible. Even all my calendar and dairy plans, including a carer’s schedule, did nothing to help the situation.
My body had had enough, physically, mentally, and emotionally (blog #3). Pushed to the limit, I knew that something had to change (blog #4).
Importance of a self-care plan and taking time for yourself
Things changed drastically after my discharge from hospital. After deciding to act on my poor mental, emotional and physical health, I got busy reassessing my lifestyle and priorities. I accepted I needed a self-care plan and to take time for myself.
To look after loved ones, I first needed to take care of myself. At this point, I created my sustainable self-care plan and actioned it.
For the next few months, I stuck to my plan, filling my cup to get better. Experiencing the benefits I understood the importance of a self-care plan. Mentally, I felt great (blog #4) and, back to full health, physically and emotionally, I never felt better.
a high-risk pregnancy, low papp-a, and gestational diabetes
In early 2020, I became pregnant.
The biggest gift of my self-care plan showing why taking time for myself without feeling guilty is so important! Clearly, my personal, self-care, and caregiving plan was working.
The good news was, however, shadowed by subsequent events.
Firstly, while providing end-of-life care for Dad, I tested positive for low PAPP-A, associated with an increased chance of pregnancy complications. There was a chance our baby could be smaller than expected (growth restricted) or come earlier than expected (preterm).
Shortly after this, Dad passed away. While still grieving after his funeral, during lockdown, I learned I had gestational diabetes. For the rest of my pregnancy, I self-monitored at home, meal-planned, and ate a strict diet. I had none of my favourite foods and craved carbs and dessert all the time!
A roast chicken dinner, however, with roasted vegetables, kale, a handful of new potatoes and gravy did not raise my blood sugar readings. So, I indulged in this often, sometimes twice a week!
To see how I managed my high-risk pregnancy and my well-being, see blog #5.
baby and toddler food allergies, intolerances, eczema and asthma
Months after his birth, my son was diagnosed with food allergies, eczema, and asthma (blog #6).
Medical staff in Paediatric A&E confirmed this when we rushed our son to hospital one morning after waking up with a horrendous rash all over his face and body.
The way my husband and I diligently monitored and controlled my gestational diabetes, we do the same for our son with his allergies.
We make sure his diet is well managed and varied by meal planning, being organised and prepared, and batch cooking.
Since his diagnosis, from about 5-months old, we always carry our son’s EpiPens with us. His nursery keeps two on-site along with an inhaler for his asthma and creams for his eczema.
Nursery also ensures he’s well cared for and nourished, getting the vitamins he needs to make up for the foods he can’t have.
how to take time for yourself and practice self-care without feeling guilty
Experiencing the benefits of a self-care plan makes me value having one. 8-years into my caregiving journey, I take time for myself and practice self-care without feeling guilty.
I’m now a self-caring working professional and caregiver who enjoys ‘me time’ without hesitation.
As I continue to practice self-care, building on things I’ve learned and found effective, I hope my stories will help others (especially blogs #2, #3 & #4).
You too can take time for yourself and practice self-care without feeling guilty.
I hope my tips and advice strike a chord with fellow working professionals and caregivers.
I hope they help you make time for yourself to practice self-care, which we all need and deserve.
When you do, I know you’ll see the benefits of a self-care plan too and realise the importance of having one.
If you care for a child or young person and an elderly loved one, like me, you may find the information and advice in blog #7, the Sandwich Generation, useful.
Want to chat? It would be my pleasure to talk with you and help where I can. As the saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved. I believe this is especially true among a community of like-minded people!
