As caregivers to older family members and/or children, we’re on a constant emotional rollercoaster ride.
Emotional well-being is all about how we think and feel. It’s about our sense of well-being, our ability to cope with life events and how we acknowledge our own emotions as well as those of others.
What is emotional well-being and how it fluctuates?
Broadly, emotional well-being fall into the following categories:
- Emotional stability – how calm we feel and our ability to manage emotions.
- Resilience – how well we can cope with the stresses of daily life.
- Optimism – how positive we feel about life and the future.
- Self-esteem – how positive we feel about ourselves.
It is normal for emotions to fluctuate and for us not to feel happy all the time.
As caregivers, it is often the case we don’t feel emotionally stable, resilient, or optimistic.
When we feel low, it impacts on how we cope, interact and form relationships with others, as well as our daily functioning. At it’s worst, poor emotional well-being is exhausting making our lives really difficult to manage.
Why is good emotional health important?
It is for the reason mentioned above that it’s important for us to maintain good emotional health.
Good emotional health helps us see a more positive outlook to help us focus and think more clearly.
It gives us more energy to deal with everyday life and helps us see the best in ourselves despite the challenges we face. Good emotional health allows us to take on hardship and get through tough times.
Things that increase the risk of emotional ill health
Many factors and events in our personal lives will increase the risk of emotional ill health. Statistically, it is a combination of the following things that affect our stress and anxiety levels leading to emotional ill health.
- Family history and/or home life environment including marriage, having children and moving homes
- Home domestic, neglect, abuse, assault, divorce and/or family breakdown
- Having low self-esteem and insecurities which can lead to having inadequate coping mechanisms to deal with the challenges and stresses of everyday life
- Alcohol and/or drug use
- Discrimination, rejection, isolation from family, friends and/or community
- Unemployment, financial worries, redundancy, business failure, debt, cost-of-living and homelessness
Things also affect our emotional well-being from inside our learning or working environment. They include:
- Poor communication lines, no direction from manager or lack of support and guidance.
- Poor line management and pastoral care from line manager, unclear definition of role & responsibilities, unclear reporting lines, unclear tasks and objectives, insufficient resources for worker, failure to manage staff effectively.
- Limited participation opportunities and control of own workload and working hours, or inflexible working hours.
- Inappropriate task delegation against job description, and limited support and training.
- High/unrelenting workload or unfair distribution of group work.
- Bullying and psychological harassment.
- Missing or inadequate health and safety policies at work / place of learning, so that issues are not identified and managed effectively.
Temporary factors that affect our emotional well-being are reversible and only make us emotionally unwell for a short time period. These things can include:
- A short term illness or incident involving a family member.
- A death of someone close or separation or divorce from a partner or a spouse.
- A short term disagreement or argument with friends or family.
- Changing jobs or a dispute at work.
While such events are happening, we experience a range of emotions that affect our overall mood, thoughts, and behaviour. For this short period, we’re likely to find it difficult to realise our abilities, cope with normal stresses of life, work purposefully and fruitfully, and contribute to our community and society. However, it is short lived and once the temporary factors are resolved and time has passed, we become emotionally balanced again and regain our emotional health.
Long-term factors that impact our emotional well-being are harder to combat unfortunately. They include things like poor housing with lack of safety and security, homelessness, and physical health issues.
For carers, like us, looking after loved ones with one or more of these health conditions, these issues can affect our emotional well-being as well as our loved one’s health.
- Long term health conditions include diabetes, like my Mum, which can come with a range of other health complications.
- Painful conditions like arthritis
- A disability resulting in less mobility and possibly becoming and feeling isolated. This was very true for my Mum when she had her strokes and became disabled. While she’s still able to walk, albeit very slowly, she’s unfortunately lost the use of her right (and dominant) arm and hand. For Mum, this affected her greatly as she’s not been able to continue doing the things she loves, including grocery shopping, cooking, and homemaking.
Long-term health conditions impact our emotional health greatly, because the problems are happening over time and, unlike temporary conditions, are not easily reversible.
Over an extended period, long-term health conditions significantly impact our mood, thinking and behaviour, making it difficult for us to live a normal life and cope with everyday stresses and challenges.
Making sure that any long-term health conditions like asthma or eczema, which is very prevalent in our household, is well managed will really help to improve our emotional well-being.
Other conditions include migraines and managing these with a carefully tailored treatment plan will improve our health all around (the physical, mental and emotional).
Link between physical health and emotional well-being
According to medical professionals and statistically speaking, physical and mental health are intrinsically linked. It is proven that individuals who feel well physically are more able to cope with the emotional and mental strains and stresses of everyday life.
This is why looking after our physical health is so important. If we care for our bodies and ensure we’re feeling well, physically, we are naturally protecting our emotional and mental health.
This is why health professionals advocate healthy lifestyle choices and physical activity. In particular, being outdoors increases our serotonin, which impacts positively on our emotional and mental well-being.
To read about physical activities and being outdoors to improve our health, check blog #9. Here I share my suggestions for living a healthy lifestyle, getting enough rest and sleep, and how to boost nutritional intake.
End of summer blues and managing back-to-school stress & anxiety
As parents and caregivers, it’s essential to support our own emotional well-being as well as our family’s.
A temporary factor that can make us, parents, and our children feel stressed and anxious, is the end of the summer holidays and back-to-school time.
After a wonderful summer break, it is time to return to school and education. This time can be particularly stressful and an anxious one for the whole family.
For parents and older family members, we can keep in mind and try practising some, if not all, of the coping strategies mentioned above (in blog #9). In this blog, you’ll see my suggestions for taking on some physical outdoor activities, for living a healthier lifestyle, getting enough rest and sleep, and for ways to boost our nutritional intake. All these things can help us manage back-to-school stress and anxiety.
For young people, I think back to my childhood and recall feelings of sadness at the thought we’d come to the end of the summer holiday, and feelings of apprehension, nervousness, uncertainty, and excitement at the thought of a new school year. Which classroom would I be in.. which teacher will I have.. and will my friends be in the same class as me..!?
As parents and caregivers, we want to support our children’s emotional well-being during this time. Luckily, there are plenty of natural remedies and healthy habits that can provide gentle and effective relief for back-to-school anxiety to promote a harmonious start to the academic year.
Drawing on the experiences, tips, and advice from family and friends with school-age children (because ojhhj ur Son is still at nursery), here are some things they’ve been doing.
- Limiting screen time on the basis that excessive screen time can contribute to feelings of anxiety and impulsiveness. As children prepare to go back to school, less time on the iPad has been helping to improve attention span and sleep patterns. Before bedtime, friends and family have chosen instead to read or play board games with their children.
- Avoiding processed foods and sugars including sugary snacks like muesli bars and yoghurts, breakfast cereals, crisps and biscuits. As a replacement, natural sweeteners like honey are used to minimise energy spikes and crashes, which can affect some people’s ability to concentrate. Processed foods also contain additives, preservatives and colourings, which can contribute to anxiety and behavioural changes in some children.
- Getting more brain-boosting foods in children’s diet. As soon as they returned from holiday, my sister made sure her children ate balanced meals with essential vitamins, minerals and omega-3 fatty acids. One of the first lunches they had comprised salmon, broccoli and rice. It’s proven that brain-boosting foods support brain development, memory and concentration and that insufficient amounts of essential fatty acids can lead to brain inflammation, affecting thoughts and emotions. They also influence dopamine, a chemical that makes us feel good! This is especially good for teenagers who are vulnerable to changing hormones. Blueberries, oats, Bircher muesli, avocados, leafy greens, broccoli, walnuts, almonds, chia seeds, extra virgin olive oil and flaxseed oil all contain brain boosting nutrients.
- Getting organised and planning the morning routine. My sister has been sorting out new uniform, school bags and pencil cases, planning lunches as well as her morning routines for after school drop-off starting next week. She says that getting ahead of the game like this will help her during term-time, including the nights before school because it helps to minimise last-minute rushing and stress. A well-organised environment and morning routine before the start of a new academic year provides children with the assurance they need to face the upcoming school year with ease and confidence.
- Starting to establish a consistent daily routine. This is reassuring for children and especially those who experience back to school anxiety. My friends children and my nephews and niece are already waking-up and sleeping at regular times, and following regular meal times and play/reading/study periods. I can see how the element of predictability definitely provides a sense of security and stability, reducing anxiety and overwhelm.
- Keeping up with regular physical exercise and activities such as playing outside, running around, kicking a football and riding the bike is a way my friends and family help to reduce stress and anxiety in their children. When kids actively move their bodies, their brains release endorphins. These endorphins are often referred to as the body’s natural mood enhancers as they have the ability to elevate feelings of well-being and alleviate stress.
- Teaching children to use positive affirmations and problem-solving skills is helping my nephews prepare for tackling any challenges they may face in the new school year. By putting up some printed affirmations on the wall around their study area, my sister is helping her children boost self-confidence and feel prepared, which can reduce anxiety related to uncertainties. Affirmations like “I am capable,” “I can handle challenges,” “I am kind,” or “I am brave” can be incredibly helpful.
It’s important to look after and nurture our emotional well-being as well as the emotional health of our children. By following some, if not, all the suggestions mentioned above we can better cope with everyday life and manage back-to-school anxiety for our children for a smooth transition.
Adopting healthy lifestyle choices, eating and thinking well (with daily affirmations), establishing routines and limiting screen time will foster healthy habits, structure, and stability. As a result, we’ll feel so much better overall – physically, mentally, and emotionally – and our children will be empowered to face the new school year with confidence and emotional resilience.
