Many things contribute to us overthinking in adulthood.
Usually, it’s things we experience and learn in our childhood and adolescent life.
As Caregivers, we are susceptible to overthinking because it is a part of our survival response.
It helps us over-prepare, over analyse, and over-protect in order to avoid potential danger and limit any harm we may do.
Unfortunately, the negative effects of overthinking outweigh its benefits – and over time, it can take its toll.
Are you an over thinker?
You are an over-thinker if:
- You are constantly planning (as someone with a plan for everything, this is 100% me!)
- You are always trying to predict the future and second-guess outcomes
- You constantly replay the past
- You cannot stop analysing and worrying all the time
- You find it difficult to make decisions
- You always want to be in control
- You feel mentally exhausted most of the time
Reasons we over think
You’re likely an over-thinker because:
- You didn’t get the chance to stay being a child for too long in your early years
- You took on adult duties way too early on in life
- You had to figure everything out on your own
- You were judged harshly for making mistakes
- You were made to feel your best was never enough
- You got hurt no matter how hard you tried
- You didn’t grow up in the safest environment as a child and/or teenager
How to stop over thinking
The first step to recovering from any mental ill health is to recognise the issue and acknowledge the problem.
You will have heard about ‘prevention over remedy’ – and the same, I advocate, applies here.
Ask yourself when you feel the overthinking coming on – what do I need right now for self-assurance?
I call this disruptive thinking where you interrupt the flow of your over-thinking by asking yourself some pointed questions, which require logical thinking and reasonable answers.
You can treat this as a harsh but fair self-prescribed Q&A:
- What is the best possible outcome and what is the worst?
- How would the worst impact me?
- Have I successfully dealt with this or something similar before?
- What actions did I take then?
- What thought processes did I follow?
- Am I worrying about something beyond my control?
- How much will this matter in 5 years?
- What coping mechanisms have I used previously and can I use them again now?
Over thinking coping mechanisms
When dark clouds burden down and suppress any glimmer of light, try these coping mechanisms to disrupt your thought process.
Once distracted, somewhere behind those dark clouds you will be able to see the silver lining and feel the warm rays of sunlight!
- Write it down – focusing on the solutions rather than the problems.
- Talk to someone and get some advice.
- Take deep breaths and know everything will be alright.
- Consider how much this will matter in 5 years’ time.
- Practice the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Anxiety Exercise
- Take some space from thinking and distract yourself with a walk around the garden, a stroll to the coffee shop, a drive with the windows down, or a jog outside
- Focus on the here and now, the present moment, and look at nature – at the colour of the leaves outside and count the birds you can see
- Put a time limit on how long you spend thinking by adding ‘thinking time’ to your daily routine/calendar.
- Fill the rest of your time in your daily routine/calendar with other tasks, hobbies, interests, and deeds.
- Do something to make someone’s day better!
- Do something you enjoy to distract you from thinking and release happy hormones into your mind & body! Listen to music, dance around the living room, join an online yoga session, pick up those pencils to start a sketch, watch something funny, watch a rom-com and have a cry, work on your website, sign-up to learn a new skill, or indulge in one on my favourite pastimes – looking through old photos and memories.
There is also professional help for general anxiety should you need it. Here in the UK the NHS provide a wealth of information and resources.
